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I am one of these people, in theory at least.  Last week, I was laid off from my corporate job that I held for over 13 years.  I handed in my tools of the trade – laptop, PDA, corporate card and badge - and walked away from an environment that defined most of my day-to-day structure for well over a decade.  In fact, most of my years here in Atlanta were spent working for this company. I did have some warning, but the reality of my approaching last day still brought up some strong emotions. 

Although I think the layoff was a blessing in disguise, the fact is, there have been many moments of worry and anxiety.  There are also the inevitable questions (and assumptions) from family and friends.  Overall, I’ve received a lot of support and encouragement, but there are a few who think I’m taking a big risk by not pursuing another corporate job. For some, the idea that I’m focusing on my Reiki and life coaching business, as well as some freelance writing/social media-based ventures doesn’t feel “solid” enough.  I’m what you’d consider a solid employee.  I tend to stay at jobs for a number of years, moving up along the way.  In fact, other than the two months I was unemployed during my transition from New York to Atlanta, and the four and a half months I was on maternity leave, this is the first time in 24 years that I have been formally “without a job.”  I should be freaking out.  And I’m not.

I see myself as building a new livelihood – and that takes a lot of hard work and responsibility, which means I’ll be too busy to freak out. I was very heartened reading Chris Brogan’s recent post, “Set a course” because I felt like it spoke to the journey I’m undertaking now.  Very simply, he says “If you want better results in life, set a course.”  The underlying message here is that we have the responsibility for making the changes needed to ensure the outcome we desire in life.  I often advise very much the same thing to my Reiki and coaching clients, and now I have the opportunity to make good on this message in my own life.  I welcome that, because the experience will give me greater perspective on how to guide my clients through their own life transformation journey. 

We can either shut down, or we can figure out how to make a situation work for our best interests.  Taking charge and setting a course also means not being too rigid.  As Brogan points out, it may be necessary to take other less desirable, but short-term actions (work a job temporarily, get certified in an area of practice, or make budgetary changes) in order to build the momentum for a longer-term plan.  It can feel a bit disjointed having to detour or accommodate for a bit, but having a clear end-goal and timeline can ease that discomfort. 

I know what some of you might be saying, something along the lines of “that’s selling out!”  It’s not selling-out; it’s survival for actualizing a life that conforms to your highest good.  When we are living according to our highest good, everyone benefits because the energy we generate in all of our actions is focused and positive.  We are living according to our purpose.  I debated about whether or not to take a corporate job for another year until my daughter is in school, but I realized that I would lose too much traction.  I can still find ways to use the knowledge management/taxonomist skill set I acquired during my years of corporate work for freelance or contract jobs if needed without compromising my wellness business.  (In fact, I’m utilizing those skills to build the new Danatopia site as we speak!)

Facing a job loss isn’t an end of your life as you know it.  Many of us fall into the jobs we have for one reason or another, and even if we end up liking them, how many of you feel like the work you do is connected to your higher potential? 

If you lost your job today, what would you want the rest of your life to look like?

(Photo credit: jusnaw)

In leiu of a box containing letters and mementos chronicling our love, I have an inbox folder.  As we become a more digitally mobile world, this seems to be an inevitable progression.  I’m glad I was sentimental enough to save our emails, but the part of me that appreciates the tactile pleasure of pen upon paper comes away feeling a bit empty.  It has also occurred to me that by the time our daughter is old enough to appreciate reading our electronic correspondence, digital formats may have changed.  That means that our emails may one day be rendered inaccessible.  It’s possible that would occur, even if I saved them in another format, such as .pdf.  My only option may be to print them out and save the papers in a safe deposit box.  That seems wasteful, inefficient and so old school.

The Buddhist part of me says to embrace the impermanent nature of  digital correspondence.  The librarian part of me insists, “catalog everything!”  Most compellingly, however, the mother in me wants our daughter to one day understand that her old, creaky parents were passionate about writing, art, social justice, spirituality – and each other.

 This past week, my husband and I had scheduled overlapping trips, which meant we were apart for six days.  Reading through those emails, I was reminded again what a smart, funny and loving guy I married.  All relationships – even a solid marriage – can use an unexpected infusion of passion.  Emails (and increasingly, text messages) seem like throwaway communication, but in this case, I’m grateful I didn’t hit the Delete key.

The study focused on African-Americans over the age of 70 who had normal cognitive impairment before the study began.  Many of these drugs are used as sleep aids, to  relieve pain and anxiety, and minimize bladder leakage problems – all very common issues as people age.  Much of the cognitive impairment involves memory loss without functional impairment.  According to the article, there had already been a link confirmed earlier between anticholinergics use and the onset of dementia. 

This article confirmed for me the memory loss I know I experienced since taking Elavil® and Detrol® (among other drugs) to control the symptoms of Interstitial Cystitis, a disease of the bladder that causes inflammation of the bladder wall lining.  I stopped taking these drugs about 4 years ago, once my bladder healed (you can read my story here) but there are huge chunks of time during that period in my life I simply do not remember.  It’s like a black hole in my brain.  Since then, I have had a harder time remembering things, and I was known for having a good recall for events or highly specific information on subjects that interested me.  I struggle at times to stay focused on a task and will sometimes forget what I was supposed to be doing in mid-task.  I’ve joked that I suffered from “Swiss cheese brain”, but it has dawned on me that although my memory has improved, it is still not the same.

What scares me about this article is that some of these medications are used regularly by people of all ages to aid with sleep and to relieve allergy symptoms.  I know of people who take Benadryl® pretty much every day! I also know that some of the over-the-counter sleep aids, such as Unisom® and Tylenol PM®, are advised for women who are pregnant.  There may be another reason for “preggo brain” besides just hormones.

Most of us don’t take the list of potential side effects of a medication very seriously – unless we happen to experience one or more of them.  However, this article goes to show that there may be other issues with medications that don’t express themselves immediately or in ways that we could easily connect.  Memory loss in an elderly population is considered a “normal” function of aging, so it would have to take an astute group of physicians and caregivers to notice a systematic set of changes in a population using these medications. 

I was in my early 30s when I took those medications for my bladder, so my memory loss would not be considered “normal.”  What’s interesting is that I had said to people like my doctor and my husband that I knew the drugs had somehow altered my brain, but simply chalked it up to the fact that any drug in powerful doses and in combination with each other had to have an affect over time. 

I’ll be interested to see if any of these drug manufacturers will begin listing “may cause long-term cognitive impairment” on their warning labels.  Somehow, I doubt it.  We have a very large aging population of Baby Boomers who are using more of these medications and there’s no way pharmaceutical companies want to lose out on all of that potential revenue.  Besides, people who take any of these medications regularly simply won’t remember that side effects include memory loss.  Think about that the next time you’re having difficulty getting to sleep.  Instead of reaching for the Unisom®, try a glass of warm milk or Sleepytime Tea instead. 

Photo credit: Fillmore Photography

Participants will receive all necessary materials to assemble and paint their rain barrels, which they can take home or donate for use on the Land Trust. Donation of the barrel to the Land Trust is a tax deductible contribution and an acknowledgment letter will be supplied. There are several subsidized free slots in the workshop available for individuals wishing to participate and willing for the resulting barrel to remain on the Land Trust.

The cost is $45, of which $40 will be donated to the City’s Care & Conserve Program, to fund plumbing retrofits and bill payment assistance. The remaining $5 will retrofit Land Trust structures for the rain barrel usage. To register, contact Genise Spenle.

I was asked to donate a gift certificate after one of the concert organizers saw my recent story about how my husband and I rescued two baby possums after their mother was hit by a car on our street.  (Reiki is a very useful skill to have when dealing with injured or traumatized animals, especially if it’s not safe to handle them directly, or if they’re skittish.)

Rock for Animals hopes to raise $10,000 for Briarcliff Animal Foundation and PIGS Animal Sanctuary.  Even if you can’t attend the benefit (hurry – tickets are selling out quickly!) you can still make a much-appreciated donation.

These days, the duo create beautiful, whimsical, one-of-a-kind fantasy or “artist’s gardens”, custom wood arbors, garden mosaics and hand-crafted pots incorporating reclaimed materials.  Robert and Sloane also do on-site garden consultations.  Robert, handy man that he is, has created a series of sculptural pots he entitled, “The Tectonic Series” because of their resemblance to natural earth activity.  They look massively hewn, but there’s also a sense that the elements could easily have their way with them. 

Unfortunately, I will be out of town this weekend and will miss their “pot party”, but hope you’ll be intrigued enough to pay Robert and Sloane a visit.  Please tell them I sent you!

As David says, you have to eat clean.  He learned this back when he was body-building and now advises his clients to do the same.  Inflammatory foods put stress on the digestive system, your immune  and endocrine systems, as well as your blood sugar levels.  They contribute to symptoms such as water retention, bloating, digestive disturbances and fluctuations in energy.  The foods David recommends eliminating below may surprise some of you. (No tomatoes? No whole wheat products?)  However, they are fairly consistent with the Paleo diet, which my husband and I been following for two months now. 

1. Pasteurized dairy products: milk, cheese, yogurt
2. Refined sugar: white sugar, brown sugar, high fructose corn syrup, etc:  
3. Processed foods:  foods with white floor, luncheon meats, candies, flavored yogurts, and boxed foods
4. Foods high in sodium: table salt, seasoning salt
5. MSG: is partially found in Chinese food and other fast-foods
6. Red Meat: reduce your red meat intake and choose organic forms of red meat
7. Caffeine: coffee, tea, soda, etc   
8. Alcohol
9. Vegetables in the night shade family: white potatoes, eggplant, and tomatoes
10. Gluten: gluten can be found in grains such as: wheat, barley and rye. Consider going gluten free.

This list may seem daunting to someone who has never done a clean diet.  My husband and I initially decided to try it for a week, and have incorporated it pretty well into our life.  We don’t always adhere to it 100%.  Travel, crazy work schedules and special occasions can create situations where compromise may be necessary.  Advocates of the Primal lifestyle, which includes following the Paleo diet, generally recommend the 80/20 rule. That doesn’t mean eating great 80% of the day and then pigging out on junk food for the other 20%!  That 20% can sink your ship fast!  It means making reasonable allowances as needed so that incorporating a new way of eating doesn’t become a tiresome burden.

Try eating clean for a week!  The first couple of days, you might feel hungrier or a little sluggish as your body adapts to feeding it fewer simple carbs and refined sugar.  Adding more fruits and vegetables to your meals and snacks will provide you with sufficient carbohydrates and fiber, and are nutrient-dense foods.  You might not be able to give up caffeine altogether, but cutting back your daily consumption will help.  After a few more days, see how you feel.  See what the scale says.  You should begin notice a difference, and that may motivate you to continue to incorporate eating clean regularly into your diet.

Photo credit: D. Sharon Pruitt (Pink Sherbet Photography)

…after 19 hours of intense labor, it seemed that our baby was not going to arrive by natural means. The doctor then informed us that surgery would be necessary. At this, Sabine spoke up and asked for a few minutes to try some alternative birthing positions to help along the process. The doctor nervously granted the request and when Sabine instructed my wife to get off her back, the nurses were less than thrilled.

A few minutes later, our first son, Charlie, was born naturally. If not for Sabine, Deborah would easily have had a caesarian birth…

I am so grateful that a man – a father – has expressed how important it is for women to have a doula present during labor and birth.  Not only did he recognize how valuable the support was for his wife (and for him), he also witnessed first-hand how having a doula present can reduce the possibility of a cesarean birth.   

The average OB-GYN is not going to suggest birthing positions or wait patiently while a woman’s body completes its birth journey.  They’re watching the clock, they’re concerned about limiting their own liability and they’re under pressure to deliver that baby because time is money.  Doulas give time and dignity back to the labor and birth process.  Doulas provide non-pharmaceutical comfort measures and non-judgmental support.  They help enable women to have an empowered birth.  Doulas provide support to spouses and partners so they can be present with the mother in whatever way she needs.

My husband was supportive of using a doula when I was pregnant.  He had been through the birth process before with his son, and remembered the stress of it all too well.  It’s difficult to navigate the hospital’s protocols while trying to provide physical and emotional support for a laboring mother, especially if things don’t go as planned.  I labored for 12 hours at home, and our doula joined us as we went to the hospital.  She spent the next 24 hours at our side, a calm, soothing and strong presence during a very long and draining labor.  It seemed that the more uncertain and stressful things became, the more calmness she reflected back to us.  Our doula had been my yoga instructor, and the breathwork and centering practices she had taught me in class were the foundation for how I approached my labor. 

My husband and doula were good partners.  One would eat or nap while the other provided support to me.  They walked on either side, up and down the halls, applying counter-pressure massages to my hips during strong contractions.  She would remind us, when we got bullied by the doctors and nurses, what we had written down on our birth plan.  The two of them as a team were the best labor companions I could have ever asked for. 

I was not as fortunate as Dana Glazer’s wife – I had to have a cesarean section.  I cried on my doula’s shoulder and then made the disappointing walk down to the operating theater.  My doula radiated strength and compassion, two things I really needed at that moment.  The L&D doctors allowed her to be present in the OR (for which we were very grateful) and she took the photos of my daughter being born, allowing my husband to remain at my side during the surgery.

Our doula has a special place in our hearts.  The three of us went through this long journey witnessing the birth of our daughter. A spiritual connection happens during these experiences and a bond is formed.  While I didn’t have the birth experience I had hoped and worked for, I did have an empowered, centered labor.  I credit my doula for helping make that happen.  I also credit her for making it possible for my husband to be the loving presence that I needed.  Men often feel helpless when they see their spouse or partner in pain, or feel like they have to “fix” everything.  A doula’s presence allows for men to simply “be” with the birthing mother, which is a gift for both parents. 

Photo courtesy of Acme